


Kansas City Shuffle, Mechanicsburg Style

by PFDiva



Series: Girl Genius Event Week [2]
Category: Girl Genius (Webcomic)
Genre: Background Poly, Cultural Misunderstandings, F/F, F/M, Gil just wants to have a beer, M/M, Mechanicsburger slang, Multi, Other, Threesomes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-09
Updated: 2018-10-09
Packaged: 2019-07-28 14:57:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16244012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PFDiva/pseuds/PFDiva
Summary: Gil decides to have a few drinks while his fiancees court their other partners, and gets to see quite a show.  He never does manage to have that drink, though.





	Kansas City Shuffle, Mechanicsburg Style

**Author's Note:**

  * For [themysteriousinternetentity](https://archiveofourown.org/users/themysteriousinternetentity/gifts).



> This is day 2 of the Girl Genius Event week: Mechanicsburg! It is also part of the We Live To Serve-verse. There was supposed to be some Agatha/Gkika before this, but I'm still working on it.

Bang drunkenly pounded Gil on the back, "Don't have such a long face! We get to hang out!"

Gil stared through the wall and tried to drink his beer in-between Bang being friendly, "My fiances are both having sex with someone else. I'm entitled to a long face."

"Well, it's not like YOU wanted to have sex with them," Bang said, stealing Gil's beer and downing it.

She was right, but it was the principle of the thing. Gil was pretty sure "annoyed" was the socially acceptable response to "Your lovers are screwing other people." But that wasn't even the most important part.

"I was really hoping to get some sleep sometime tonight. I have a meeting with the Iron Sheik tomorrow." He signaled the bartender for another beer, heaving a sigh. He couldn't fall asleep by himself anymore, but he wasn't going to try and stop Agatha or Tarvek from having their fun just because he was codependent.

Bang made a dismissive noise, but crowded up against Gil's side, "I'll sleep with ya!"

"You're not allowed to stab Tarvek when he eventually comes to bed." Gil said, because that was absolutely where this was going. His beer came and as an afterthought, he added, "Or before he gets into bed. Or when he's suspended above the bed. Or anytime at all."

Bang made a show of pouting and stole his beer again before casually slashing at an amorous jaeger with her knife. Gil recognized the jaeger as one who'd met her before. The jaeger evaded her slash with a chortle and a leering, toothy grin.

At least _someone_ was having fun.

Just then, a pair of tourists came into the bar. Gil knew they were tourists because they actually noticed how many jaegers were in this bar. Considering how many jaegers were present, it was sort of a surprise no fights had broken out recently, but the night was young.

The tourists managed to fetch up to the bar right next to Gil. Which was unfortunate, because they were frantically whispering to each other about how maybe it wasn't a good idea to plan a vacation to Mechanicsburg, good Heterodyne or not. The tamil one with dark skin in the dress turned out to be "Betty, shh, they'll hear you" and the olive-skinned spanish one in the pants turned out to be, "Harold, I feel like someone's _looking_ at me."

The person looking at Betty turned out to be a gorgeous Mechanicsburger--dark brown skin, elegant braids decorated with gold clips and carefully pulled back so it'd be difficult to catch on anything, broad shoulders and work-calloused hands. Even a tool belt with sturdy fastenings. Clearly a minion to someone mechanically-minded and important. Maybe even one of Moloch's underlings, though Gil wouldn't know most of those folks.

Said person strolled up to Harold and Betty with a wide grin, "Hi there, I'm Sasha, and you two look new in town."

Harold and Betty were hesitant at first, but Sasha could have charmed Bang out of her knives. Then again, Bang kept stealing Gil's beers and was playfully stabbing more than a few jaegers, holding court. She didn't seem to be aiming for vital parts, and the stab victims kept coming back for more, so Gil assumed everyone was enjoying what was going on. There was no accounting for taste.

"Soo, my friend over there sleeps on both sides of the bed and was wondering if you'd be interested."

The words drew Gil back to the debacle of a townie hitting on tourists. Mechanicsburg had some interesting slang, and it didn't always translate.

From the puzzled looks on Harold and Betty's faces, they had no idea what Sasha was talking about. Which was probably for the best, because Sasha's friend wasn't very interesting. Clearly had Valois blood somewhere up the family line giving pale skin with hair a reddish color of blond. After the hair and skin was clothing embroidered with gold thread and fiddly designs that suggested a minion to someone who did a lot of paperwork. Not very useful in Mechanicsburg of today, where mechanics were in high demand.

After a moment of confused silence, Harold ventured, "I don't like blanket hogs?"

Sasha's face immediately twisted with disappointed distaste.

"No need to be so judgemental, yikes."

"Well, there's not much room in our bed for blankets," Betty explained, "Since it's only big enough for Harold and me."

Sasha made a disgusted noise and walked away to yell across the room, "Pat, I'm not doing this shit for you anymore! Who even wants tourists like that?"

Pat jabbed a finger at Sasha across the table, "I helped you hook up with Driznev, who drank all my good whiskey-- _you owe me!_ "

"Were we being hit on?" Harold asked, exchanging a look with Betty. Betty gaped while Sasha slapped a hand down on Pat's table.

"All you did was let Driznev know I exist--I did all the hard work!"

"Fucking a jaeger," Pat yelled, jumping up to get in Sasha's face, "Is _that_ what we're calling hard work these days?!"

Gil couldn't tell if Pat and Sasha were making a scene on purpose or not. Possibly they were just very drunk?

"People here _date jaegers?_ " Betty said, sounding faint and slumping against Harold.

A violently magenta jaeger with more cleavage than claws (which was saying something, because that was a _lot_ of claws on one jaeger) and a hat covered in fake fruit perked up at Betty's words, "Ho, hyu vant to try eet out? Hy is Daniela und hy promise hy dun't bite _too_ hard."

Pat rounded on Daniela with a roar, "That's cheating-- _I asked first!_ "

"Hy ken't help if dey have better taste," said Daniela, smug as anything.

" _You_ asked first?!" Sasha said, the incredulous demand mingled with Daniela's taunting.

Betty still sounded faint, "And now a jaeger's hitting on _me_."

"Both ov hyu," Daniela objected, gesturing to include both Harold and Betty and waggling eyebrows in that salacious way jaegers seemed to think was sexy. The worst part was that it frequently seemed to work on their intended targets, "If hyu is interested. Is hyu?"

Harold looked down at Betty in alarm. "Is that allowed?"

"Apparently?" Betty said, sounding less faint and holding Harold's gaze.

Silent communication passed between the pair for a moment before Harold spoke again. "I vote not the jaeger." Betty nodded.

The jaeger in question made a complaining sound. Pat's fist pounded the air with joy.

"I am _TRYING_ to run a business here! Stop yelling across the goddamned room!"

The bartender's bellow silenced the entire bar for a few, precious seconds. Then Pat got up, clearly intent on joining Betty and Harold. Daniela kicked Pat's ankle, causing Pat to fall face-first on the floor with a painful-sounding THUD.

Soon Pat and Daniela were wrestling on the floor, Bang's stab victims indiscriminately cheering the combatants from where they were evading Bang's knife. Pat kept trying to snatch Daniela's hat, while Daniela seemed to be trying to get Pat undressed? Gil wasn't sure, he just knew Pat seemed to be doing fairly well, considering the opponent.

While Pat and Sasha were distracted, someone else came to flirt with the tourists. The new arrival's head was shaved completely bald, wearing a tight dress cut in a style Gil was annoyed to recognize as Parisian, with a blocky print design, mostly yellow with accents of green and red, that was probably from Mozambique or Namibia.

The new arrival briefly conversed with the tourists, and Gil caught an exclamation of, "Oh, I made this myself" that made him feel terribly smug. Tarvek missed out on this outfit because he was off banging somebody. Van, probably. Maybe Hadrian.

Gil had a drink because being smug over Tarvek missing the chance to see an outfit was possibly the stupidest thought he'd ever had. _The weasel was rubbing off._

When Gil looked up again, the new arrival in the dress was in the process of escorting the tourists out. Both of them looked interested and only a little concerned about the fight going on behind them. Well, they'd learn something new and hopefully fun tonight.

Sasha finally stopped gaping to pull Pat and Daniela apart. Pat's clothing was half-undone, hanging off in a not-yet-revealing way, and Pat had a handful of plastic grapes in hand. Daniela's hat was still on Daniela's head, so the victory probably went to the jaeger.

Of course, Daniela's attention was on Sasha, who had both combatants off their feet, dangling in the air by their shirts. Sasha carried them over to the bar, insisting that enough was _enough!_ Daniela's eyebrows waggled at Sasha.

"Ho, no vonder Driznev like hyu. Verra stronk. Driznev showed me one of hyu tricks last ve haff time off together. Hyu vant me to show you one of Driznev's?"

Sasha very deliberately set Daniela and Pat down against the bar, then paused a moment to look the jaeger up and down. Pat stuffed the plastic grapes in a pocket, buttoning up and sullenly glaring at Sasha.

"Well, Driznev's been out of town for a few months and won't be coming back for another several," Sasha admitted, "But it might be more fun if you show me some of _your_ tricks?" Then Sasha gave Daniela the sort of grin that told Gil Sasha had probably learned more than a few tricks from jaegers.

Pat growled, "Goddammit, Sasha! How do you manage to land a jaeger when you were trying to find _me_ somebody?"

Sasha and Daniela exchanged a glance, then both looked at Pat for a long moment. Gil could almost see the understanding dawning across Pat's face, a flush sweeping over pale skin as Pat pointed at Daniela, "....you were _trying_ to start a fight with me."

Daniela very deliberately fished in Pat's pockets for the stolen plastic fruit, "Hyu didn't tink just vun townie vould be enuff for me, did hyu?"

"Not even a very strong one," Sasha added, crowding Pat up to the bar and into Gil a little, which was annoying, but at least Gil could hear everything.

Pat was very red and gaping at Sasha with undisguised interest. Sasha pointedly paused and leaned back a little.

"You're interested, right?"

"Oh," said Pat on a squeak, "Well. I. Yes. Very yes."

Daniela squashed between Gil and Pat, half pushing Pat into Sasha's lap, "Vell den. Wot say ve get out ov here?"

Gil elbowed Daniela in the back to make room for himself, shoving the trio sideways, " _Please_ get out of here--I'd like to be able to finish my drinks in peace?" He'd just ordered yet another one and Bang was distracted by jaegers. It might actually happen.

Daniela cackled and helped Sasha drag Pat out of the bar. Bang reclaimed her spot at his side with a wide grin, stealing his latest beer.

"Y'know, I could get _used_ to this town!"


End file.
